Final Fantasy VIIIX
by Ron the True Fan
Summary: When the veil between two worlds is cracked open, they cannot remain separate. This is one such tale.
1. Chapter 1

Final Fantasy VIIIX

* * *

In less then 48 hours, everything had done straight to hell. What was supposed to be an easy kidnapping was turned into a massive shitstorm. The Prima Vista was badly damaged and had been put down in a cursed forest, which had petrified, trapping Zidane's friend, Blank, inside. And the knight, Rusty whatever his name was, wouldn't stop bitching about taking Garnet back to Alexandria.

"Um, Zidane," the young boy that was a certifiable Black Mage spoke up from beside him, "how soon do you think we can make it to a safe haven?"

"Not sure, but there should be some place that leads back just above the mist nearby." Zidane answered the young Black Mage.

"You should have thought of that before you kidnapped the Princess, you fool!" Zidane glared at Steiner, then directed his gaze at Garnet. Steiner got the point: the more he complained, the more danger she was in.

Garnet, Princess of Alexandria, sighed at the antics the captain of the Knights of Pluto had gotten himself in. It was one thing to be loyal to King (or Queen, in the case of her mother, or, more in line with herself, Princess Heir) and Country, but there was such a thing as taking things too far, which the Knight himself was doing. She didn't even want to _stay_ in Alexandria, fer cryin' out loud, which is why she asked Zidane to help her escape!

…even though he was technically supposed to kidnap her.

Semantics aside, the point stood. "Steiner."

The leader of the Knights of Pluto stood at attention. "Princess!"

"We need to work together to get out of the mist. Can we please not fight until we're out of danger?" Garnet asked (or ordered).

"I… will attempt to be civil, milady." Steiner accepted the order reluctantly.

The black mage, Vivi, pointed towards what appeared to be fog coming from a cliff facing. A fog that was being caused by cold wind.

"Well… looks like our way out of here," Zidane commented, looking in the direction of the fog. "Let's go take a look."

The party approached the cave entrance, on guard for mistspawn monsters, though thankfully they encountered none on their approach. "Um..." Vivi started.

"What's up, Vivi?" Zidane asked.

"Have you heard of the Ice Cavern?" Vivi asked in return.

Zidane nodded slightly as he faced the mage. "I've heard of it. Think this is the place?"

Vivi nodded. "It's supposed to be close to Evil Forest, so maybe."

"I've heard of it: that it's a beautiful cave showered in ice." Garnet supplied.

Vivi took a bit to explain, "My granpa told me about it: it should lead us right back above the mist."

"Still… Master Vivi, will it be safe for us to traverse the Ice Cavern as we are right now?" Steiner asked the Black Mage.

Zidane summed up their situation. "Rusty, we either go into that cave and get to above the mist so we can head to Lindblum, or we can risk staying in the mist. Don't know 'bout you, but I ain't staying in this fog any longer then we need to."

Before Steiner could object, Garnet shut him up. "He is right, Captain. Speed is of the essence."

Dropping his head to face the ground, Steiner said, "Alright, Your Majesty, we'll go with that course of action."

The troup entered the cave, which was colder then a naked whore's tits in winter (Zidane's words, but Steiner was forced, reluctantly, to agree with the crude analogy) and slippy as all hell. Vivi nearly tripped twice. "We're going to need to get a move on, folks: hate to say it, but none of us are wearing anything close to winter gear." Zidane said from the interior of the cave.

"Yes, we need to go faster," Garnet nodded as she said that.

Steiner nodded as well, though he remained silent.

As they made their way into the cave, they encountered frozen monsters, but nothing that threatened them. "This is unnerving, but beautiful in a strange way." Garnet commented.

"They aren't as beautiful as you, Princess. Gotta remember that." Zidane brought up.

Steiner ground his teeth at the bandit's casual conversation, but remembered his oath to not kill the thief. Besides, he was complimenting her, not attempting to seduce her. 'Yet. You must protect her from this kidnapping scum!'

"What's gotten into you, Rusty?" Zidane asked, having taken a look at the Knight's face.

"Nothing you need concern yourself over." Steiner said.

Zidane shrugged as they continued their way into the cave. Garnet clasped her arms as the temperature started to drop again.

Zidane took notice of this, and asked, "Hey, is it just me, or is the temperature starting to get _really_ uncomfortable?"

Vivi started shivering prior to collapsing, before Steiner attempted to tend to him, his armor providing more protection to the cold. But he succomed regardless, falling unconscious. Garnet was the second to last to fall, having used a spell to keep her body temperature as high as possible. She cast the spell under her breath to the entire party, preventing them from freezing to death. But it wasn't enough to keep them conscious, as she fell. "Damn it… so fucking cold…" The tailed thief fell to the icy ground, protected by Garnet's white magic.

* * *

 **Meanwhile, in a world similar, yet so very different from Gaia**

* * *

"What's so funny, Aeris?" a tall blonde man with shining blue eyes (literally, they shine), wearing a purple combat uniform, and equipped with a blade the length of a Zweihander, asked his female companion outside a mansion.

The reason why they were outside a mansion? The owner of the mansion had 'acquired' a friend of the man's, a woman named Tifa Lockhart, and was going to interview her to see if she would be suitable to be his wife. The reason why the man cared? He was a childhood friend of hers.

The reason for Aeris Gainsborough's laughter? The man looked feminine enough to pass as a girl, and was going to be doing just that. By the time he realized it, his eyes widened in shock as to her… plan. "Oh, hell no. HELL no."

* * *

"You look stunning, Cloud!" The ex-SOLDIER looked at Aeris, who was smiling with her eyes closed. Presumably to protect herself from Cloud's murderous glare. Which HAS killed in the past.

"You have no idea how much I want to hurt you, Aeris. NO fucking idea." Cloud was livid, in easier to use language.

"But it's true!" the shop proprietor's daughter protested, almost causing the glare to be directed at her… if it weren't for the fact that the outfit was too constraining for his own good.

Cloud snarled as they approached the Don's mansion. The only reason he was doing this was for Tifa. If the Don did anything… unbecoming, death would ensue after getting the information he needed.

"I see you brought your cute friend with you," the guard at the door said, giving off a perverted smile.

' _Urge to murder. RISING.'_ The guard smiled as they were cleared to enter, and Cloud resisted the urge to rip the man apart after he slapped his ass. He could do that later.

"What's gotten into you, anyway, Ku-chan?" Aeris asked innocently, causing Cloud to pause in step for a bit.

"…Ku-chan?" Cloud asked in confusion.

"It's one way of saying your name," Aeris answered, "as you are now… Ku is short for Kumo, in one case, which means Cloud."

"…What the hell are you ON?" Cloud demanded angrily.

"Pure happiness." Aeris replied happily.

Screw the guard: he wasn't sure _Aeris_ was going to survive the next hour in his general area.

With little else to do, Cloud (*cough*Ku-chan*cough*) and Aeris walked into the mansion of Don Corneo, not expecting what will happen later that will change their lives.

* * *

 **Gaia**

* * *

As they would say on Earth, IS FUCKING COLD! But Zidane knew nothing of that as he woke up. He didn't know HOW he could be awake when even the mages were unconscious, but he got up, hearing a bell ring. "What the hell?"

Walking forward to the source of the ringing bell, Zidane soon found himself in a clearing in the middle of the cave, near where he'd expect the exit to be. "Oi! Anyone here?!"

"You shouldn't be awake... How are you awake?" a gruff voice demanded of him.

Zidane looked upwards, seeing what seemed to be an older Vivi with… wings? He was ringing a bell in his hand.

"Who the hell are _you_?" Zidane questioned the knock-off of his friend.

"I am Black Waltz 1. And you are not… normal." the now identified Black Waltz 1 answered.

"I can say the same for YOU!" Zidane countered.

Black Waltz 1 chuckled gruffly at the comment. "You really _are_ an interesting creature… you think you can defeat me?"

"Let's see about that!" Zidane drew his daggers, ignoring the cold. Light surrounded him as he prepared to enter Trance, while the mage summoned a sealion familiar/Eidolon.

"Come, my ally! Let us destroy this thief!" Black Waltz yelled. "After that, we will make off with the Princess!"

"Like… HELL!" Zidane flashed, his form changing as he entered Trance, roaring as the knowledge of a new ability entered his mind prior to unleashing it on the Black Waltz. The black mage attempted to shield himself, but this only served to pour more energy into the attack. His fatal mistake, as it caused a rift to form.

"NO!" The black mage's magical energy turned the rift from an unstable vortex into a stable portal. "Two and Three… AVENGE ME!" The screams were the last thing he said as his summon disappeared with him. A warm blast of air hit Zidane, which while a welcome change from FUCKING COLD, was NOT a good sign.

"Uh… oh… not good!" Zidane yelled, mere moments before the effects of the portal hit him as well, pulling him in with Black Waltz 1 and his Eidolon familiar.

Zidane stabbed the ice with his daggers, preventing him from getting sucked in until the suction event ended. Once it did, it attracted attention of a semi-welcome sort. "YOU!" If the thief were not tired, he might've told Steiner to shove it. "WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?!"

"For one thing, Rusty, the air in here suddenly grew warmer," Zidane answered. "For another… there's a tear in the fabric of Time-Space right behind me! All because the one to put us to sleep tried to block an attack that came from yours truly… sheesh, when are you ever gonna lighten up?"

The knight looked at the vortex, paling. "How in the name of the Gods did you-" Steiner almost finished that question.

"Trance, and a LOT of anger. Emo-powered attacks actually DO something, apparently." Zidane answered.

Vivi looked at Zidane and asked, "What do you mean by emo-powered?"

"...THAT'S a long explanation. But in any case, the cavern's clear, and I want to get the hell out of this cave!"

* * *

 **Back in Don Corneo's mansion**

* * *

After finding Tifa in the dungeon, Cloud and Aeris were dragged up with the one they were looking for to meet with Don Corneo, which led to one of the most embarrassing things in the ex-SOLDIER's life… being the Don's bride for the night. After going in with the man to be 'married' to the man…

He tried anything, the Don would lose something important to him, and it wouldn't be his little 'kingdom'. And the moment came far too quickly. Cloud had had ENOUGH of this shit. It was time for the direct approach. "Now, my dear-"

Cloud leveled his fist to Corneo's face before leaping off the bed. "I think I've had enough of playing a girl."

"Wh-What? You're… a guy?!" Corneo demanded, just before Tifa and Aeris barged into the room. "A-And how did _you_ two get in here?!"

"The door," Tifa answered, as if the question was one with an obvious answer.

"W-what do you want from me?!" the Don questioned.

Cloud, in his sickened state of being, replied, "Personally, I want your bleeding head on a pike, but before I do THAT, we want answers."

"Nuh-uh… I can't talk about it!" Corneo answered. "I'd lose my life if I talked!"

"Talk, or else…" Tifa started, before a rumbling was heard. "What was that?"

The western wall collapsed, bringing in a cold draft and throwing a cloak-wearing body into the room via a rift. "OK, FUCK THAT! I'LL TELL YOU EVERYTHING!" While unexpected, it was a boon to the allies.

"What did your assistants find out?!" Tifa started the interrogation.

"THEY'RE GOING TO DROP THE SECTOR SEVEN PLATE ON THE SLUMS! JUST DON'T HURT ME!" the Don pleaded with his life on the line.

"Who's going to drop the Sector Seven Plate on the slums?" Cloud continued the interrogation.

"Shinra, so they can take out that rebel group, Ava-something or other! I don't want to die! I want a wife!" The Don descended into sobs as the three glanced at one another. They had work to do. The Don-waste of skin that he was-could wait.

"Alright, let's get going," Aeris said, leading the group to the door, before pausing for a bit. "What do we do with the cloaked man?"

"Forget him; he's not even breathing." Cloud had the feeling, however, that this would not be the end of that. He was right.

* * *

 **Gaia**

* * *

After a few hours of mind-numbing stupidity, coupled with enough insanity to drive the Joker back to normality, the party had disrupted a, for lack of better term, mage production line and hijacked an airship from… more mass-produced mages.

"How many more of them must we face?" Steiner asked.

"They're called 'waltz', right? That means there's only three… of… them… like that guy right there!" Zidane pointed in the starboard side direction of the sky above them for emphasis.

Steiner would have facepalmed and muttered son of a bitch, but this wasn't the right universe for that. The third and most powerful of the Waltz landed on the forepeak, looking VERY pissed off. "I will destroy you, then take the princess back to the castle. Surrender, and I may make it painless."

"My ass, Waltzy!" Zidane countered. "We'd be screwed either way!" Drawing his daggers out, he prepared to fight.

"W-W-Wait! I want to help!" Vivi exclaimed from where he was, rushing to Zidane's side.

Before the battle could begin, however, the mages crowded around the waltz. "Do you think you stand a chance against me?! BEGONE!" a powerful burst of magic sent the mages tumbling down off the ship, along with the ones in barrels. This distracted him long enough for Zidane to shove both his daggers into the mage's back, followed sharply by a sword supplied by Steiner, charged with electrical energy by Vivi.

"Gah!" the Black Waltz exclaimed in pain. "You'll _pay_ for that!"

Vivi, at that moment, went into a Trance and cast a double helping of Fire on the Waltz. " _You_ will _pay_ for hurting _my brothers_!"

The energy kinda drove number 3 more then a little… insane as he was blown off the ship. "And STAY DOWN, asshole!" Zidane yelled at the mage.

"Zidane," the princess, who had changed her name to Dagger, spoke up from a side. "Why do I have the feeling that there's a maniac chasing us in the air?"

Zidane laughed almost sadly. "Because there IS a maniac chasing us."

Steiner looked at what the thief was staring at before screaming in horror. "Black Waltz 3! He's got an airship!"

Zidane rushed to the controls of the airship and moved it to speed up, hoping beyond all hope that they could get to Lindblum as fast as possible, without the mage right on their tail. "Hey, Rusty! Do we have an open gateway ahead of us?"

"Yes, but it's closing-You aren't-" Steiner shouted.

"No choice! Hang on for your lives!" Zidane countered.

The airship barely cleared the gates, but the Waltz was still on their ass, charging a Thundaga.

"Is he insane?! That will destroy everything inside the gate!" Steiner exclaimed.

The charging spell, thankfully, also set his airship on fire. If he could think about it now, Black Waltz 3 would be saying 'fuck me with a ten-foot pole'.

"Wait… where will he land at this point?" Zidane asked, curious to see if the mage was going to stop in the gate or not.

The answer to that was easy as the airship crashed into the closing gate, causing heavy damage to it.

"That… sucked. But we're in the clear." Zidane said.

"'IN THE CLEAR'?! We lost all the cargo, South gate is heavily damaged-"

"Steiner, shut up and listen to him." The knight froze at his lady's words. "There was no avoiding damage to the gate. Regent Cid will understand once we meet with him."

"Thank you, Dagger," Zidane nodded in the Princess' direction. Turning to look in the direction of Lindblum, he said, "Now that that's out of the way… let us be on our way."

* * *

 **Midgar Sector 7 slums**

* * *

"GET EVERYONE OUT OF HERE! SHINRA'S BLOWING THE PILLAR!" While the message was intended to ensure an evacuation, it also caused chaos of all kinds as the residents began running around like headless chocobos and getting into fights - fist fights - over who caused this.

"Tifa…" Cloud deadpanned at the woman who yelled out the evacuation order. "That didn't help at all."

"Oops…" the black-haired woman felt the urge to sweatdrop… if it were humanly possible.

"Everyone, please, stop fighting! We need to get everyone out of here! Assign blame AFTER you are safe!" The fights stopped as soon as Aeris' voice was registered. The residents began running like mad OUT of the slums, pouring into other sectors as fast as humanly possible.

At that moment, Wedge fell from the top of the support pillar station, having been shot to fall to the ground below… it would be a miracle that he survived.

"Wedge!" Cloud exclaimed, rushing over to the rotund member of AVALANCHE. "You all right?!"

"Oh… Cloud… I'm glad… you remembered my name…" Wedge said, barely alive as it were. "Barret's up top… help him… An' Cloud… sorry, I wasn't any help."

Cloud shook his head, before turning to the others. "I'm going up!" Looking Aeris in the eye, he said, "Aeris! You look after Wedge."

Aeris nodded at that, before Tifa ran up to her. "Aeris, do me a favor. I have a bar called '7th Heaven' in this neighborhood. There's a little girl named Marlene there…"

Aeris nodded at Tifa, saying, "Don't worry. I'll put her somewhere safe."

"Thank you, Aeris…" Tifa said, before she rushed off with Cloud to make it to the top of the pillar.

* * *

By the time they got up there, though, it was nigh-too late. The Turks had set up enough explosives to reduce the pillar to rubble, and Reno was about five milliseconds from pushing the button. "No!" The redhead scoffed at their protests, pressing the button and activating the timers. "There! Mission complete! Bye, Sector Seven slums!"

"Undo the explosives _right_ now!" Barret demanded.

"Sorry big guy…" Reno smiled mockingly. "But I can't. Even if I wanted to, the explosives are set to go off once that button's pushed, and no force in the universe can stop them."

Barret, normally able to keep a more-or-less cool head, was livid at Reno. "You _bastard_! You'll _pay_ for this!"

"Try me, big ma-" Cloud's buster sword missed Reno's neck by microns, but the force was enough to draw blood. "Holy shit, soldier, you wanna kill me that badly? Let's give it a shot!"

"Bring it on," Cloud snarled at the Turk, inviting the man to make the next move.

Before the battle could begin in earnest, a Turk chopper arrived. "Lucky me. Not so lucky you. Think you can save your slums in time?"

"You mean the population, or the slums in general?" Cloud snarked. "We got the first one already taken care of."

That was when they spotted an unwelcome sight in the chopper: Aeris.

"You sons of bitches; let her go!" Cloud roared.

Tseng, in the craft, shook his head. "I have orders from Mr. Shinra himself. She's coming with us."

Before they could ask anything about the situation, Aeris shouted from the chopper, "Tifa, don't worry! She's all right!"

Reno jumped into the craft, then waved mockingly as it flew away. "Happy trails!"

The pillar began to explode, and Barret grabbed both Cloud and Tifa. "I ain't leaving you foos to die here! Come on!" The leader of Avalanche grabbed a wire and swung them to safety, barely clearing debris en route.

As soon as they landed on the ground, Barret looked at the crowd of people who managed to escape the destruction of the slum. "Wait… who managed to get everyone out of the slum?" he asked, looking at the whole group.

"The others must've spread the word..." Cloud said.

A crackle caught their attention, as a weak vortex appeared. "That looks a lot like the thing that brought that guy in the cloak to Corneo's mansion." Tifa spoke up in shock.

Barret gave Tifa and Cloud a look of confusion. "The fuck you talking bout?" The vortex erupted with power, causing a vacuum.

Cloud stuck the Buster Sword into the ground to keep himself in the slums, but that was delaying the inevitable.

One by one, the citizens of the now-destroyed slums of Sector 7 were sucked into the vortex's vacuum, leaving Cloud the last one to be sucked in, especially with his blade.

* * *

The city of Lindblum has seen a LOT. This would be the strangest, as a vortex opened in the palace district, spitting out a crowd of people wearing strange clothes.

"Oww… what happened this time?" a man with spiky blonde hair, shining blue eyes, a ridiculously large blade and a purple bodysuit questioned.

A number of spears were pointed at the group, held by city guards.

"Cloud?"

"Yes, Tifa?" the blonde asked.

"I don't think we're in Midgar anymore."

"What do you mean, we're not in…" Cloud started, before he looked at the surrounding area. "…oh. There's a sky out above us."

"And men with pointy sticks, pointing the pointy sticks at us." Tifa pointed at the guards in question.

"How in the name of the Gods did you get here?!" Guard A spoke first.

"Are you agents of Alexandria? Speak!" Guard B demanded.

The one with the metal hand looked at the guards and yelled, "Who the hell is this Alexandria person you speak of?! We're citizens of what used to be the Sector 7 Slums of Midgar!"

Cloud facepalmed from the man's stunt. "Barret…"

"What the hell is Midgar?!" Guard C demanded.

"If you'll get the damned spears out of our faces, maybe I can explain." The guards looked at Cloud. "Alexandria's a country, yes?"

"Yes..." Guard D answered.

Cloud took that moment to explain, "We've never heard of it, and you've never heard of Midgar. Either we're all insane… or we've got a problem. We're going to need to speak with your leader."

"If you do that… then you'll need to leave whatever weapons you have out here, to make sure you don't… well, overreact," the first guard said, before he motioned for the group to do so.

"My… comrade's arm is a weapon. And he can't remove it." Cloud explained.

Barret decided to make his feelings on the matter clear, so he said, "And I ain't staying here!"

The guards looked at each other, before they relented. "Very well… anyone else that has that problem?"

"I'm a fist fighter." Tifa said.

"THAT we can solve."

* * *

"Did they HAVE to tie my hands?" Tifa asked exasperatedly.

Cloud glanced at Tifa and Barret, whose hands were tied. Literally. "I'm more dangerous with my buster sword then without it. You, admittedly, are dangerous unarmed."

"Yeah, I know, but still…" Tifa complained, before she saw the throne room up ahead. "Oh! Looks like we're about to see who's in charge here!"

A group wearing differing sets of clothes (one looked like the cloaked guy) were standing in the throne room, talking to… a bug. "What. The. Fuck."

Cloud bopped Barret upside the head for that comment. "There's a child in the group, Barret," he said. "Now… is the bug supposed to be the ruler? First I've heard of a sentient bug."

The girl of the group sighed. "It's a long story."

The bug made itself known as it spoke. "My wife is a witch, and she turned me into this when I cheated on her."

Cloud blinked. "That… wasn't a long story at all," he said. "How soon do you think you'll be back to normal?"

"Cloud, we're not here about that!" Barret yelled at the ex-SOLDIER… from right next to his ear.

"Barret, SHUT THE HELL UP so I can get the information we need WITHOUT demanding it." Cloud said to Barret.

"Ah, our… guests from the portal. I keep eyes and ears throughout the city. I know what happened, and I apologize for the actions of my guards." the ruler said.

"You know what happened to us?" Tifa asked.

The ruler said, "Of course I know! Magic vortexes happen every so often, but THAT one… it is clearly more powerful then any other."

With a droop of his head, Cloud asked, "When was the last recorded instance of this?"

"…about 15 years ago. We never knew the cause." the ruler admitted.

The cat tailed one spun around to look at Cloud. "Hey, if you caused that little vortex, you've got to be a mage!"

Blinking, Cloud asked, "Wait… when did _I_ cause the vortex that happened just now?"

"Hey, from what I've heard, only mages can make them, and they're usually the only ones that get sent through." the tailed man said.

Flawless logic.

"I'm no mage, whatever those are. The only way I can use magic is by using materia." Cloud answered, even as he thought, ' _And I don't HAVE my buster sword._ '

"Should you _really_ be sharing those kinds of secrets, Cloud?" Barret asked incredulously.

Cloud turned to Barret for a bit and said, "We're clearly not in our world. And the only way we're getting back is by trading information, and learning how the hell we can get through that thing without falling on our asses."

Barret was silent for a moment, before he sighed frustratedly and said, "Fine… you got a point there."

"Thank you for understanding, Barret," the one without his weapon nodded.

"And who are you lot?" the ruler asked.

"Cloud Strife, Tifa Lockhart, and Barret Wallace of Midgar." Cloud answered for the group.

"Alright, then," the ruler nodded as best as he could. "Now… we'd best research how to send you home. Before that, though, are you willing to stay for the tournament that will be going on?"

"What tournament are you referring to?" Cloud asked.

"Big tournament's held in Lindblum every year: festival of the hunt. You look like you could be a contender." the ruler explained.

"How does this festival work out, exactly?" Cloud asked, to make sure he knew what he was getting himself into.

"We release animals into the city, and the competitors hunt them down. Relax, son: the citizens never come to harm unless they accidentally anger the monsters." the ruler explained.

"Hmm…" Cloud thought about the risks and rewards. "How do I sign up?"

* * *

As the 'refugees' were settled in, the heroes began to introduce themselves. Cat-tail was Zidane Tribal, a member of Tantalus, the knight was Adelbert Steiner, the mage was named Vivi Ornitier, and the girl was freaking royalty: Garnet till Alexandros, heir to the throne of Alexandria. And once they compared notes… they realized that their missions had just become entwined.

"Let's see if we got this right…" Cloud said. "You're saying that it would've been better to keep the body of that Black Waltz with us, to prevent it from being reverse engineered, correct?"

"Not sure about that, but if this 'Shinra' thing is as bad as it sounds, we've got a lot more then one angry bitch-queen." Zidane said casually.

Steiner, although he wanted to shut Zidane up, was forced to agree.

"Well, time to add another atrocity to their list of crimes," Cloud said, with Tifa writing down a list of things that count as crimes that Shinra committed.

"That will be the least of our problems. Once Shinra figures out how to get over here, they're going to get to their usual crap and start killing the planet." Barret stated.

"How do they do that?" the ruler, who had been revealed to be named Cid, asked with morbid curiosity.

"Extract the planet's energy and begin killing it." Barret answered.

"They can do that?" Cid asked in shock.

"It's what they've been doing for years. The planet we're from is DYING because of it." Barret snapped out.

Zidane jumped to his feet. "Well, when we've got the time, I'm helpin' you guys out." Garnet nodded, much to Steiner's horror.

Barret nodded appreciatively. "Thank you," he said graciously. "I promise, we don't want Shinra to do anything to this world at all."

"One mission to come to this castle is enough, Princess! You have met with the Regent: we MUST head back to Alexandria. The Queen-" Steiner started to object.

"Rusty, correct me if I'm wrong, but she took something from the castle when she left." Zidane interrupted the Knight.

"To the best of-" Steiner objected.

"Something so freaking important, she shot an EXPLODING MONSTER at her own daughter. I'd say, in the queen's mind, Dagger ain't her daughter anymore; just a traitor." Zidane continued without missing a beat.

Steiner would have said something more, but Garnet (*cough*Dagger*cough*) said, "Yes, I have something important… but I don't get how a pendant is that important to her, or anything else."

"Even the smallest thing is important, Princess." Cloud glanced at a piece of materia he was holding. "Even the smallest..."

Barret took that opportunity to say, "We still gotta get home, or the Shinra'll fuck us good! And I gotta check on my girl!"

Zidane perked up at hearing that. "You've got a lover back home?" he asked.

"Foo!" Zidane received a boot to the face for that comment. "She's ma DAUGHTER!"

Steiner and everyone else that didn't know Barret winced upon hearing that. "Okay… that was _probably_ uncalled for, but it makes sense," Cloud said. "Still… did you adopt her? She doesn't look like you…"

"She is. If it weren't for the Shinra fuckin' up the planet, I'd be too busy takin' care of her to do much else." Barret answered.

"Duty and family. I salute you, Sir Wallace!" Steiner said as he did that.

"Just Barret, Tin Man." Barret corrected.

Steiner took offense to part of that correction, saying, "T-Tin Man?!"

"Even the Shinra assholes don't wear anything like THAT metal getup!" Barret explained in his crude way.

"Enough, Barret. These people can be our allies in the fight, and you know that." Tifa admonished the man.

Barret looked down, before he said, "Yer right… sorry to offend the present company."

Zidane looked at Barret's right arm and asked, "What happened to your arm, if you don't mind my asking?"

"Lost it. I got a weapon-arm as a replacement. Comes in handy against the Shinra." Barret answered, even though he wasn't telling the whole story.

Zidane, as if picking up on something, said, "Alright… I'll leave the matter alone, Barret."

"You call _me_ by a derogatory name, and then you address _him_ by his given name?!" Steiner exclaimed at the tailed male. "I don't believe it!"

Zidane turned to the knight and glared at him. "You're the head of a bunch of knights in Alexandria who haven't seen combat; he lost his arm, probably defending his family or something. Besides, rust ain't always a bad thing: it means it's seen a lot of use."

Steiner would've countered that, if only it weren't for the fact that he knew Zidane was right. The Knights of Pluto haven't seen combat yet, and probably never will… he was the only one to see combat. Still, it didn't mean he had to accept it, no matter what.

"Actually…" Barret spoke up, looking at his weapon-arm, "I lost my arm because I was a sitting duck, trying to save my friend from falling down a cliff… my daughter lost her birth father that day, all because of my inability to pull him to safety in time."

"You still did something worth doing, big guy." Zidane said, trying to cheer Barret up.

Barret sighed a heavy sigh. "Wish I could believe that. We need to get back soon, though: that Aeris girl needs our help."

"Don't I know it…" Zidane said. "So… how do we get to your world?"

"If a Black Waltz opened the vortex, even on delay, we just need to wait for Shinra." Cloud answered, even though he didn't like it any more than the others.

A lightning crack was heard outside the castle, followed by the formation of a vortex in midair two floors below them. "Shinra works fast." Zidane smirked. "Count me in. I could use some excitement!"

Vivi took a look at Zidane, before he nodded. "Alright, I'll go, too," he said, shocking Steiner.

"M-Master Vivi!" the knight protested. "Surely you must be joking!"

"I'd like to see what this other world is like, too," Dagger added, much to Steiner's shock and consternation.

"The festival ain't for another couple of days. We'll be back in time for the entry crap!" Zidane said.

Steiner sighed silently. "My duty requires me to be at the princess' side."

Barret punched the air with both his hands… er… yeah… and said, "Alright! Let's get going, then!"

"I'll need the Buster Sword, though," Cloud stated.

One of the guards left the room, presumably to recover the weapon for him. It was time to go on the counterattack.

* * *

 **Shinra Incorporated Headquarters**

* * *

A rotund blonde man sat behind his desk, looking for a reason to get away from the desk and, most importantly, the paperwork, when he received a phone call. "President Shinra here… what is it?"

" _Mister President, I have a most positive report for you,"_ a scientist-type spoke on the other end.

"What is it, Hojo?" Shinra himself questioned.

" _The being has been reverse engineered, sir. We've begun producing a device based on the energy the body produced. We haven't sent anything through the vortexes, yet, however."_ Hojo answered.

"I see…" Shinra commented, before he asked, "Do you need me down there?"

" _If you wouldn't mind… I need to give you the details when you come down here,"_ Hojo answered.

"Very well. I'll be there soon." Shinra hung up the phone as soon as he finished saying that and started his trek to the labs.

* * *

 **Sector 6 Slums**

* * *

As soon as the group from Midgar returned home, bringing their new allies with them, they decided to trek it over to Aeris' home… primarily to see where Barret's daughter was.

"This is a slum, you say?" Steiner questioned, looking around him. "I take it nothing worthwhile grows here, right?"

"You'd be surprised," Cloud answered, remembering Aeris' flowers. As soon as they arrived at the right spot, he said, "See what I mean?"

"What are you…" Steiner was about to question Cloud when he saw it for himself. "Wow… that's a lot of flowers…"

"They're beautiful!" Dagger stated in joy.

"Aeris grows them here. I don't know HOW she does it...but she can." Cloud mentioned.

"Well, color me impressed," Zidane said with a nod. "Now… shall we get to seeing the owner of this house, if it's not this Aeris girl?"

"It's her mother." Cloud explained.

"THAT explains a lot." Zidane exclaimed.

With that, the group entered the house, unsure of what to expect from the house's owner… except Cloud.

"Aeris? Is that-" Elmyra Gainsborough froze as she saw not her daughter, but her 'friend', Cloud. "Mr. Strife. Where is my daughter?"

"I'm sorry… she was abducted by Shinra," Cloud explained, feeling guilty for the event.

Elmyra sighed and shook her head. "So the turks followed and caught her. I should have thought of this. They've known about her for some time, and once they found her, they would take her. And who are your… friends?"

Cloud turned his head to glance at Barret and Tifa, saying, "These two are Barret Wallace and Tifa Lockhart… they're from what used to be the Sector 7 Slums." Doing the same for Zidane's group, he said, "And these four are Zidane Tribal, Adelbert Steiner, Garnet till Alexandros, even though she'd rather go by Dagger now, and Vivi Ornitier… the tailed man is Zidane, the armored man is Steiner, and you can guess who Vivi is."

"I could guess." Elmyra nodded.

"I have to ask, lady, is my daughter alright? I been worried like mad." Barret asked the mother.

"What sort of father are you, to leave a poor little girl alone like that without anyone to look after her?" Elmyra questioned Barret, a glare in her eyes.

"Don't start with that. I think about that all the time: 'what'll happen to Marlene if something happens to me?' But as much as I want to take care of her, I have to fight for her! For the world!" Barret retorted.

Elmyra sighed as the glare left her eyes. "I see…" she said. "In any case, I suppose I owe you an apology, and the truth about Aeris."

She began recalling how Aeris joined her family, her husband's disappearance and how Shinra wanted Aeris to lead them to this 'Promised Land'. Aeris was something called a Cetra, or Ancient, the last of her kind, no less. The party from the other side took it in stride: they were still getting used to being in another world.

"So… let's see if we got this straight," Cloud said. "You're saying that Aeris has been keeping her abilities to herself, but they still got advertised to Shinra?"

"Yes. That's why we've been hiding here for so long." Elmyra answered.

"Ok, time for the big question, people." Zidane cracked his neck and got ready to move. "How are we saving the lady?"

"Foolish brigand! Storming the enemy's fortress of power is suicide! We must be intelligent about this." Steiner retorted.

Zidane glared at Steiner, but Cloud supported the knight. "Steiner has a point. And I have an idea."

Zidane looked at Cloud in curiosity. "That being?"

"A two-pronged assault. one team infiltrates through the rear of the building while the other distracts Shinra Security." Cloud explained.

Zidane took a moment to think it over, before nodding. "I have to say, you got a good point about that…" he said. "Very well… let's do that!"

"Cloud, one problem…" Barret said. "How are we supposed to go up to the Shinra Headquarters? The train's out of commission with the destruction of Sector 7's slums."

"Don Corneo's mansion may provide a few ideas. Let's get to Sector 6 and find out."

* * *

Sector 6 did, indeed, have the solution to their problems: a wire leading up to the S6 plate. It would take a while to climb, but they WOULD get up there. And they did. After an hour of climbing and blistering hands.

…at least until they ran into a problem. "What's with the way up? There seems to be a need for strange contraptions…" Zidane questioned the first place where they needed a Battery.

"Ugh… we need to go back down," Cloud said. "I think we forgot something."

"What's it for?" Vivi asked.

"We need a source of electrical power, Vivi." Cloud answered.

Vivi chanted a spell under his breath before unleashing a small Thunder, spinning the propeller unit.

"…well, that works," Cloud said. "Any other places with a need for electricity, we'll inform you about, then."

"Th-Thank you," Vivi nodded, seeming to blush for one reason or another on his blackened face.

They climbed up the unit, using it as a bridge before coming up to a tiller. "Vivi?" Another Thunder raised the tiller, allowing them to climb upwards.

Finally, they came across a third place for power, which Vivi used a Thunder spell on to allow for more access to what would help them out on their quest. After that point, and after more climbing, the group made it to the top of the plate.

"About… fucking… time." Shinra headquarters was dead ahead. "That certainly looks foreboding." Zidane commented.

"Zidane, your group will storm the front. We'll head in the back. Stir up a LOT of trouble." Cloud directed.

"Right… leave it to us, Cloud," Zidane mock-saluted, before the two groups split up.

"With all of their attention on us, they won't notice the others going in through the back." Zidane commented from his place in his group's lead.

Steiner drew his sword. "Indeed. Those brigands will know no mercy!" The group charged in, guns blazing, so to speak.

"Hey! I'd like to talk to the guy in charge about his policy on kidnapping people!" Zidane yelled at one of the workers, who just so happened to be part of security.

"Wh-What the- who the hell are y-" the security grunt tried to demand, before he was burned by Vivi.

"Zidane, focus, please…" Garnet gently reprimanded the tailed man.

"Right… sorry," Zidane apologized.

* * *

In the CEO's office, Shinra shook his head at the full frontal assault on the ground level. But he was intrigued. They were from the same world as the body: he was sure of it.

Pressing a button to call up the head of his security division, Shinra ordered, "Detain the attackers by any means necessary, but don't kill them. I want them alive for Hojo to properly experiment on."

" _Yes, sir,"_ the head of Security answered.

It was a good day to be Shinra Corporation.

* * *

All eyes were down below, although Zidane's team were slowing moving from floor to floor. Cloud's, meanwhile, were a few dozen floors above. "I. Hate. Stairs!" the leader of AVALANCHE yelled.

"Shut UP, Barret." Cloud sternly ordered. Getting to level 60 would be easy. Getting to the same level as Aeris, not so much.

Upon going through the door that revealed itself to be the doorway to the 59th floor, things started to get hectic…

"Who goes there?!"

…especially as a group of armored grunts in exoskeletons charged at the heroes.

"Son of a Protestant whore." Cloud muttered to himself, though he wondered where he got that from.

The Shinra security team raised their weapons for a fight, but the SOLDIER was faster, as well as Barret's gun arm. "Foo! No one stands a chance 'gainst Avalanche!"

The fight, if it could be called that, lasted a couple dozen seconds… and the exosuits were destroyed, along with the people inside them.

"Wow… no harm on our side, eh?" Cloud questioned their good luck so far.

Tifa sighed, before saying, "C'mon, Cloud, no use questioning it."

* * *

Explosions and yelling were the norm on the lower floors as all hell broke loose. "FUCK!" one guard yelled.

"WHEE!" Zidane rode a security guard into a wall, while Steiner dueled and defeated another and Vivi fucked up massive numbers of them, causing Shinra to divert more guards their way.

As for what Dagger was doing… well, apart from doing her duties as a White Mage, she suddenly felt the urge to summon a massive dragon to her side. But how was she supposed to do so? She didn't summon things to kill others… right?

A white flash signalled massive amounts of doom. For everyone that wasn't on her side.

Three floors above, screaming was heard. "Uh, what the hell was that?" one guard questioned.

"How the hell should I know, Simmons?" another guard demanded.

The floor began to cave in under the mooks' feet. "SON OF A BITCH!" Simmons yelled.

"Son of a bitch!" Guard number 2 yelled as well.

"SON OF A BITCH!" the third guard yelled.

As of that moment, Dagger had just summoned her most powerful Eidolon to date, and it was lividly pissed off.

And hungry. "OH GOD NO!"

* * *

From Shinra's office, the CEO was freaking the hell out. ' _Well, THAT'S going to cost an arm and a leg to fix. Also, HOW THE FUCK DID SHE DO THAT?! They aren't using Materia!'_

Hojo, at that moment, walked into the office and asked, "Why haven't you come down to my labs yet? I wanted to show you the power I managed to unlock from the body…"

"Not _now_ , dammit!" Shinra roared. "We've got _bigger_ things to worry about! The primary thing to worry about is someone summoning _Bahamut_ … without Materia!"

"THAT'S new. And related to what I was talking about-" The building shook heavily. "The fuck was that?"

Shinra deadpanned, "Our intruders. Where the hell is Sephiroth when you NEED him?"

"Not here, clearly." Hojo stated the obvious.

* * *

Rescuing Aeris was simple after breaking into level 62. Finding a headless body that was still freaking Cloud the hell out? Not so much. And now? "A talking beast. Well, I've seen weirder things in my life. What's your name?" Cloud asked.

The red panther, who had been rescued along with Aeris, said, "The professor in charge of this lab called me Red XIII… I don't have a problem with you calling me what you like."

"Red XIII, then. A pleasure." Cloud said.

"I sense no lie in your words. That's good. I'll get you out of here: I know the way." Red XIII said.

At that moment, a new specimen showed up from the specimen elevator… well, new for Barret and Red XIII.

"What… the… did Shinra revive the guy we left in Don Corneo's mansion?!" Cloud demanded in a yell.

The Black Waltz, as they learned it was called, pulsed slightly before a voice said something about energy storage complete. "They must be makin' shit using that thing. What the hell is that thing, anyways?" Barret questioned.

"I'm guessing it's one of the Black Waltz' that Zidane's group ran into," Cloud said, before he drew his Buster Sword. "Let's cut it down to size!"

The Waltz pulsed as the being rose, coldness arcing between its' fingers.

* * *

"Remind me NEVER to piss you off, Dagger. That thing… holy SHIT, it was murderous." Zidane said with a large amount of awe.

Garnet panted from her place on the floor. "I don't know how I did that."

"And we're going to find out." A large number of Turks entered the ruined hall, and Zidane facepalmed. They were exhausted: there was no way they could fight them off.

A red-headed Turk with a pole in his hand rushed towards Steiner, pointing the pole at him and sending a few dozen kilowatts of electricity into the man, which was amplified by means of the knight's armor. Upon seeing the knight fall to the ground, the man turned to the others and asked, "Who's next?"

Zidane drew his daggers, but two taser darts went into his chest before shocking him into unconsciousness.

* * *

Life, Cloud had discovered, sucked. They had been captured by the Turks, and were standing before President Shinra himself.

"To think, you managed to destroy the mage we repurposed…" Shinra said, a touch of disdain in his voice. "Now… how did you evade the security?"

"Got the answer to that, boss!" The redhead, Reno, dragged Zidane's party into the office. "Classic two-pronged assault, sir: one distracted, the other fucked us up. Sorry we didn't catch them earlier."

Hojo, who was standing in the office as well, looked at Zidane and Vivi, before asking, "Do you mind if I take those two with me to the labs? I need research… I hope you understand."

Shinra waved his hand in a sign of acceptance. "Go ahead, Hojo," he said.

"Where is Aeris?" Cloud questioned.

"In a safe place. She's the last of the Ancients, you know. The last link we have to the Promised Land. We expect much from her." Shinra answered.

"What's so special about this 'Promised Land', anyway?" Tifa questioned.

"It is where we will begin again. That's what the mako reactors are for. We will build a new Midgar there." President Shinra said.

"You're kidding, right?" Cloud questioned the head of Midgar. "I don't know whether to call you crazy, stupid… or just an idiot."

"That's all for our meeting. Take them away." The Turks dragged the group off, leaving the head of Shinra to bask in his glory.

* * *

 **Xamusel: So, Ron and I were talking, and we decided to work on this story together… we do not regret the actions taken to tell it.**

 **Ron the True Fan: (Screaming unintelligibly due to Mako poisoning)**

 **Xamusel: …not good. Ron! I'll take you to Dagger for an emergency healing session!**

 **(Deadpool pops up) Deadpool: Fuck yes! I'm finally… Wait, why does he have that phas-OH GOD NO! (Gets vaporized)**

 **Ron: Blarg.**

 **Ja Ne.**


	2. Chapter 2

Final Fantasy VIIIX

* * *

Cloud and the others with him were split into different cells when all was said and done. The fact was, he and Tifa shared a cell, which had no windows or anything. "I wonder how Zidane and Steiner are doing…" he said, concern coloring his voice.

"Getting poked and prodded, I would think." Tifa suggested.

They had little to do but wait, so they laid back, forced to do nothing, relieved even of their weapons.

* * *

Zidane and Steiner were forced to share a cell, and the knight was trying to kill the thief. "You endangered the Princess, you fool! I'll make you pay for that!"

"Oi, Rusty, this isn't the time for that!" Zidane countered angrily. "How was _I_ supposed to know they'd split us up when they took us to this floor?!"

"It's your fault we're even here in the first place!" Steiner roared hotly.

"Not my fault that I can't resist helping people in need! It's what I do!" Zidane countered again.

"I KILL YOU!" Steiner roared, even as he wondered where he got that from.

* * *

"I wonder how Vivi and Dagger are doing…" Cloud said this time.

* * *

Another electrical shock was passed through Garnet's body, and she was REALLY getting tired of this shit. "I told you before-AHH!"

"Who do you work for, you slut?!" the torturer demanded once more, before-

"ENOUGH!" Hojo roared.

-that happened.

"S-Sir! Wh-What brings you here?" the torturer questioned.

"She is one of my subjects, not a common terrorist. Get her into my lab, now."

"Y-Yes, sir!" the torturer obeyed the order, taking the woman with him to the lab-

"You forgot the boy, you nimrod!" Hojo insulted the man, even as he pointed at the Black Mage.

"Sorry, sir." The security personnel dragged Vivi out, not realizing that it would be their end in about four hours.

* * *

Four hours had passed, and Cloud was able to rest for a short bit. It was when he woke up that he noticed something was wrong… the door, which was supposed to be closed and locked, was the exact opposite.

"The hell?" he asked himself aloud.

He exited the cell, finding Zidane and Steiner beating the shit out of one another in the cell opposite of his and Tifa's. "What the hell are you two idiots DOING?!"

Both looked at one another before looking at Cloud. "When the hell did you get in here?" Zidane asked.

"Just now… and the doors are open now," Cloud pointed at the doors in question. "We gotta get out of here, so long as you two can keep from killing each other."

Both looked at one another before getting off the ground. "Where's Dagger?" Zidane asked.

"Not in any of the cells." Cloud answered.

"How do we go rescue the princess?!" Steiner roared in question. "We don't even have our weapons any longer!"

"That… is a good question," Cloud admitted. "Where did they keep our weapons?"

Zidane looked out the door to his right, and saw that the guard was on the ground, blood flowing from his wound… and clearly dead. "Um… is it just me, or did we miss a massacre?"

"A _what_?!" Cloud questioned, looking in the direction that Zidane did. "…oh."

There were bodies EVERYWHERE. "THIS is some crazy shit, SOLDIER boy." Cloud looked behind him, spotting Barret, who supported a weak looking Aeris and Dagger.

"Barret. Where'd you find them?" Cloud asked, his voice barely holding back the anger in it.

"Hojo's labs. There's some crazy shit down there. Place looks like a warzone. Good news is, they stashed our shit in an armory near the big man's office." Barret replied.

Cloud nodded, and was about to say something before he suddenly remembered something else. "Wait… where's Vivi?"

"Still in the lab. Didn't want to move him: he looked too bad to move without healin'." Barret answered.

"A good idea. We should get to him and patch him up before we get our weapons back." Cloud said.

"How do you suggest we do that, Cloud?" Tifa asked, concern in her voice.

Before Cloud could wrack his brain for the answer, Zidane reached into his back pocket and pulled out a small bag. "I collected a lot of potions," he said when he saw the stares in his direction.

"Alright then…" Cloud nodded at that.

They went to the lab, finding Vivi in one of the sample chambers. He wasn't moving, but he wasn't dead. "Let's do this and get a move on: I want to get the hell out of this building and back to Lindblum." Zidane said, even as he used the potion on Vivi.

"I don't blame you for that," Cloud shook his head, before seeing something off to the side. "Hello, what do we have here?" It was a device that resembled a small rifle with a large opening that pulsed with magical energy. "What the hell is this thing?"

"Cloud? What is it?" Tifa asked her childhood friend.

"I seriously have no idea…" the ex-SOLDIER answered. "I guess we'll have to hold onto it for now…"

Pocketing the device, Cloud and Tifa entered the lift that took them to Shinra's office. The place was a mess, with only one man still alive. And it wasn't Shinra. "Oh, shit." Cloud said.

"What happened?!" Tifa asked incredulously.

At that moment, the survivor ran to the exit, with Cloud and Tifa moving to restrain him. "Not so fast, buster!" Cloud yelled, catching up to him. "Talk! Who was behind this massacre?!"

"It… It was Sephiroth! Sephiroth!" the survivor, a man named Palmer, spilled the beans.

"WHAT?! Did you-" Cloud questioned.

"Yes! I saw him! He killed everything!" Palmer yelled. The man ran out as a helicopter approached the building.

"Rufus! Fuck, I forgot about that son of a bitch!" Cloud yelled when he saw who was coming.

"Cloud? Who's Rufus?" Tifa asked in concern.

"Rufus Shinra, vice president of Shinra Incorporated, and the son of the now-dead Shinra," Cloud answered, glaring in the direction of the helicopter.

At that moment, Zidane and the others showed up, Zidane flinching from the carnage that had been wrought. "Wh-What the… who was behind this?" he asked, morbid curiosity filling his tone.

"Sephiroth." Cloud answered.

The local team ran out of the office, trying to intercept Rufus.

"-Sephiroth was here? Interesting. Oh, who are these people?" Rufus asked as soon as he saw the local team.

"We're Avalanche, Shinra boy! We're takin' yo ass down!" Barret yelled.

"I see. Well, I'm the new president of Shinra. And my first order as president is to change policy. Fear will be the new way of governing things. Once I hang your bodies in the streets, they will understand." Rufus said coldly.

"Guys, get out of here, and make sure to get the others out as well!" Cloud yelled, catching the others by surprise.

" _What_?!" Barret yelled. "What'd you just-"

" _Now_ , Barret!" Cloud interrupted, not giving the leader of Avalanche a chance to finish.

"Oh? There are others?" Rufus asked curiously, before looking through the window. "Oh, _right_ … now I see them."

"I'll take care of Shinra." Cloud said.

* * *

This was not a good day for Vivi. He felt like crap, and now he was being carried down the tallest building he knew of. "This isn't what I wanted when I woke up today." Vivi said groggily.

"I don't think ANY of us planned on this, Vivi." Dagger said to the Black Mage.

They arrived on the ground floor, pausing at a strange contraption. "Well… what now?" Zidane asked. "We had to fight a pair of metal monsters… and now we're down on the ground floor."

Barret and the others arrived, but without Cloud and Tifa. "What are y'all waiting for?! We gotta get out of here!" Barret yelled.

"Where's Cloud and Tifa?" Dagger asked.

"I'm right here!" Tifa yelled from a doorway, revealing she just came down the elevator. "Cloud wanted me to go down ahead of him… quick, get in the truck!"

"The hell is a tru-" Zidane started to ask.

Tifa punched him into the contraption's rear area.

"Oh…" Zidane said dumbly.

"GET IN!" Barret jumped into the back with the others. "AVALANCHE! WE ARE LEAVING!"

At that moment, Cloud came roaring down, on a motorcycle that he had commandeered. "C'mon, we gotta get going!" he yelled.

Tifa took that moment to get into the driver's seat and started up the truck, prompting the truck to get moving, with Cloud following right behind them.

"FUCK!" Barret yelled at the top of his lungs. The two vehicles began to move down the road at high speeds, followed by Shinra security forces. Luckily, they had a pissed off black mage to deal with them. "We need to get back to Sector 7: Lindblum's a LOT safer then here!" Barret declared.

"How do we get to this Sector 7?" Dagger asked, a tone of incredulity in her tone. "Didn't you say it was destroyed?"

"The portal wasn't! Come on!" Barret answered.

Zidane fiddled with the device they captured, accidentally activating it. It opened a vortex ahead of their vehicle, which snapped shut the moment they were through. They landed in Lindblum's theater district, although they were 60 feet in the air.

"What the… this is _not_ what I had in mind!" Zidane yelled from the rear of the truck, even as the truck fell to the ground and crashed. "Owww…"

"Wh… where did Cloud go?" Aeris asked, looking around for the swordsman.

Cloud landed on top of a building, sliding the bike to a complete stop.

"Well, shit. At least we know what this thing's for, now." Zidane said.

"Where _are_ we?" Aeris asked, looking at the buildings in the city.

"Lindblum," Tifa answered, catching the Flower Girl's attention.

"Where's that?" Aeris asked.

"Another world. At least we'll be safe here. Let's get back to the castle. Anyone got a map of that place, what'd you call it, Midgar?" Zidane asked.

* * *

 **Two hours later**

* * *

After careful work, they had transposed Midgar's map over Lindblum, and found that they could get to a place outside of Midgar on Gaia. "At least that's good news: we don't have to go to the same place twice." Vivi said.

"Exactly, Master Vivi," Steiner answered. "We need to be especially careful that those unscrupulous enough don't get their hands on the device."

"The lab was completely destroyed: even the research was lost. I think this is the only working prototype." Cloud turned the portal gun, as it were, around in his hands. "We'll leave for a town outside Midgar soon. We'll make contact with you in a few days."

"Stupid question, but can you leave that thing here? If Shinra gets their mitts on it again, we're a bit boned." Zidane had a point. Cloud pulled out another map, finding a common point. "We'll be here. We'll meet up with you in the town Kalm. Here, it's Gismaluke grotto."

"What about the festival?" Zidane asked.

Cloud paused to mull the idea over. "Well… why not?" he asked. "It's not like I've got anything better to do, anyway. I'll participate, yeah."

"Then rest up and be prepared! May you be blessed with victory!" Steiner saluted.

Cloud shook his head. This festival was little more then a time waster. They had other things to do. Sephiroth was out there, causing more death and pain. And it was his duty to stop him.

* * *

 **The next morning**

* * *

Zidane looked around for Dagger, wondering where she could be. He'd already run into a friend of his, one Freya of Burmecia, the day before, after chatting it up with a lovely lady… he shook his head to remain on the top of his game.

Besides, Garnet was prettier-WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?! That thought was stopped in its' tracks by the sound of a singing voice. "Hello, who is this?" Wasn't Tifa: she was napping. He walked onto the balcony, finding… Dagger? ' _Holy shit, she's beautiful AND she has a divine voice.'_

Waiting a bit for the singing to die down, Zidane watched from a distance, seeing that there were birds in her general area… as in right in front of her. As if noticing his presence, she spun around to see him, mouth agape.

"Nice song." Zidane commented.

Dagger put her hands on her hips, seemingly annoyed. "How did you get up here? This is a restricted area."

Zidane snorted, before retorting, "Please. I do this for a living."

"Oh, I forgot: you were in Tantalus." Dagger remembered.

As the two were silent for a bit, Zidane was looking around for a conversation starter, before-

"Hey! There's a telescope! Let's go check it out," he said, walking over to said implement of spying (and so on). "Come on."

He looked through the telescope, describing places he was seeing in the spyglass to her, before spotting something completely random. "Hey, there's a chocobo. Maybe I can catch a chocobo in that forest."

"Hey, Zidane," Dagger said, catching his attention. "May I please take a look?"

"Uh, sure, why not?" Zidane asked in return.

'… _I've made so much trouble for everyone… Uncle Cid knew everything…'_ Depression began setting in for the princess. ' _That's why he asked Tantalus to get me out of Alexandria. No matter how hard I try, I'm always a step behind in everything... I'm so helpless...'_

Zidane, upon seeing the depression on Dagger's face, asked, "…what's wrong?"

Dagger looked at Zidane and asked, "Zidane…? Why did you help me come here - to Lindblum? …is it because your boss ordered you to?"

Zidane shook his head. "I just wanted to help you. That's all. The boss didn't agree with me...so I ended up leaving the band."

Garnet backed away slightly, ashamed of herself. "Really!? I'm sorry."

Zidane waved it off. "Don't worry about it. It isn't the first time I've left."

Dagger looked down, before saying, "Zidane…"

"Yeah?" he asked.

"Oh...um... How were you planning to abduct me?" she finally decided to ask.

Zidane shrugged, as the plan was no longer necessary. "We were gonna put you to sleep with sleeping weed, then kidnap you. It's mostly used for kids, but a big dose can knock out an adult just as easily."

Garnet giggled for a moment, speaking his thoughts. "I guess you didn't need it, since I came along on my own." She then gave him a look. "Hey... Would you mind giving me some? I've had a hard time sleeping lately."

Zidane shook his head. "Um, I don't think that's a good idea. You might get addicted. Maybe all you need is some company, eh?"

Garnet's look turned sour. "Do you think I'm that naive?"

"Nope, but I had to try!" Zidane reassured.

Garnet knew that was an attempt just to raise her spirits.

"U-Um... Th-That song... Were you singing it in the Village of Dali?" Zidane asked.

"What song?" a voice asked from by the door.

Zidane looked at the intruder, known to all as Cloud Strife. "Oh, it's just you. When we were at a village, before we got sent to your world, I heard Dagger here singing."

Dagger looked at Zidane with a thoughtful expression. "So you were awake. I shouldn't be surprised: a thief is supposed to be able to be up at any hour."

"What were you singing just now?" Cloud asked, with Zidane nodding his head, as encouragement to have her explain.

Dagger looked down for a bit, before answering, "…I don't know. I can't even remember where I learned it. I sing it whenever I feel sad or lonely… For some reason, it comforts me and reminds me that I'm not alone."

Zidane cupped his chin, almost thoughtfully. "I guess it's a mystical song... Let me hear it again."

She began singing again, and Cloud was almost reminded of his home. Then he was reminded of the evil that destroyed it.

"Cloud?" Zidane asked, seeing a darkening expression on the SOLDIER's face.

"Hm?" Cloud looked at Zidane, almost curious as to what was going on. "What?"

Dagger took the opportunity to explain, "You look like you were enjoying yourself for a moment, then… your expression changed to that of someone wanting to kill."

Cloud's expression turned apologetic, as he said, "I'm sorry, princess. You reminded me of my hometown. That reminded me of… him."

"Him?" Zidane asked in morbid curiosity.

Cloud looked at Zidane. "The greatest of SOLDIER."

( **BGM: One Winged Angel - Crisis Core version** )

"Sephiroth." Cloud began telling them about the mighty super SOLDIER: long silver hair, a massive katana called Masamune, and a garb similar to his. "He was a hero in the war, and someone to look up to. Until he destroyed my hometown and killed everyone there. Everyone but me and Tifa."

Zidane looked at Cloud's eyes, before asking, "Was there anyone else with you at the time?"

Cloud was taken aback, even as he asked, "E-Excuse me?"

"Was there anyone with you at your hometown?" Zidane elaborated.

Cloud grasped his head, groaning before he fell on his ass.

"Cloud!" Zidane yelled.

"I… I don't want to talk about it any more." Cloud said, getting up off the ground.

Zidane looked torn at that moment. "Well… should you decide to talk about it, I'll listen," he finally said.

"As will I," Dagger affirmed.

Cloud doubted he'd regale the tale to them anytime soon. Tifa and Barret, certainly: they were going to raise 80 kinds of hell by him not letting them join him. Aeris… it was her choice. "I'll go and see about Tifa and Barret. We'll be getting ready to leave just as the festival ends."

"Alright, Cloud," Zidane nodded. "Here's hoping that we can compete properly against each other."

Cloud, as he was about to turn to leave, stopped and rose an eyebrow. "You sure about that?" he asked. "I could easily leave you and anyone else in the dust."

"Is that a challenge I hear?" Zidane asked.

Cloud shrugged. "Who knows? I'm probably gonna give my prize to you, anyway."

"We'll see about that. May the best man win!"

* * *

 **The next day**

* * *

Cloud was beginning to regret being so boastful. The monsters here were a bit more… lethal then the ones back home. Zidane was kicking the living shit out of the ones that were giving him issues, for one reason: Cloud's Buster Sword was unwieldy against those things.

Then again, he knew that there was a 2 hour time limit, which helped matters considerably when it came to hunting down the different monsters that were let loose. As it stood… Cloud stopped in his motions for a bit when he saw a giant boar-like monster. "What the…?"

Zidane, who was right with him, saw the monster as well. "A Zaghnol?! Why isn't it targetting… us…?" he trailed off when he saw the reason. "Oh, you've got to be _shitting_ me!"

There were children caught in the crossfire of the festival… and Zidane had a soft spot for children.

That equaled only one conclusion. It died. SLOWLY. Zidane jumped onto the monster's back, stabbing it in the shoulders with his twin daggers before throwing one of them into its' eye, blinding it. At this point, Zidane pulled out a weapon he had… acquired… elsewhere, hacking into the monster's jaw. The weapon was the Butterfly Sword, a twin-bladed staff weapon which Zidane could and in a pinch DID use.

Cloud, because of his past experiences as a child, was more than willing to aid Zidane in this endeavor. Using his newly acquired sword, the Hardedge, plus some acquired Materia, he decided to cast a high-level Bolt spell… while not using a high-level Bolt spell, given that he was going to amplify the spell through Zidane's dagger in the Zaghnol's eye. He just hoped that the spell would not hit Zidane instead.

The electrical attack went into the beast's brain, but it only disoriented it. It was still alive. And Zidane was going to make sure its' blood bathed the streets. A jump and three well-aimed strikes separated the animal's head from its' spine, sending it crashing to the ground lifelessly. "I hate those things."

Cloud, when he saw the corpse, couldn't help but agree… before he noticed a gemstone amongst its remains. "Er, Zidane?" he started to ask.

Zidane grabbed the jewel from his hands. "Come on: we've barely got an hour left! Snap to it!" The thief ran off, leaving a scowling Cloud.

"I'm going to lose this. I just know it." Cloud muttered.

At that point, a Hedgehog Pie tried to ambush him… failing on account of Cloud spinning around and cleaving it in half.

"Wonder if Tifa decided to enjoy the tournament as well?" he asked out loud, and to nobody in particular.

* * *

Tifa was indeed enjoying herself. Beating the shit out of things was therapeutic. She had volunteered to take care of any of the excess monsters that tried to get out of the zones, along side the city guards. They welcomed her help.

"Say, madam Lockhart," a guard said to her. "How come you don't use a weapon like a sword?"

A Trick Sparrow received a punch to the face. That sent it into a wall. "Knuckledusters. I'm a hand-to-hand fighter."

The guard, if it were humanly possible, would've sweatdropped from that. "Oh," he muttered.

* * *

 **Over an hour later…**

* * *

The winner, unexpectedly, was Zidane. Freya, a Burmecian soldier, was expected to get victory, but Zidane's defeat of the Zaghnol allowed him to win. Cloud was given some compensation for his efforts: a piece of Materia, surprisingly, that was discovered in the mist.

"This is a green Materia… and there's a purple on to go with it?" he asked in confusion.

"I thought that stuff was from your world only." Zidane said in a bit of surprise.

"Clearly not. Maybe it forms here, too." Cloud shrugged at that.

Before the festivities could continue, however…

"Regent…"

A soldier from Burmecia came stumbling to the throne room.

"Please forgive my intrusion... I bring urgent news... from our king."

Artania looked at Cid. "Sire, you must not let him see you like this!"

Regent Cid scoffed. "Take a good look at him, Minster. An injury has blinded him." There was, indeed, a cloth wrapped round the man's eyes. "Continue."

The Burmecian explained, "Our kingdom is being attacked by some unknown force! We are severely outmatched! Please send reinforcements immediately!"

Before Cid could ask who, the Burmecian continued.

"The enemy looks like an army of mages wearing...steeple-crowned hats."

Cid stood, small as he was, but his voice was no less resolute. "The king and I are old friends. We will send reinforcements to Burmecia immediately."

"Thank you, Regent! The King… and all of Burmecia will be most grateful!" the soldier said. "I must… return now… Ugh." With that, he fell to the ground, dead.

Cid, however, simply thought he had collapsed. "Take him to the infirmary!"

Freya, however, crushed his hope as she checked the body. "It's too late. He's gone… It's a miracle he even made it this far. I can't believe this is happening…"

* * *

 **Five hours later…**

* * *

"Are you sure you don't want to help us take the fight to whoever's invading Burmecia?" Zidane asked Cloud and his group.

Tifa nodded. "We have to deal with Shinra and Sephiroth. If they cross over to this side, they'll be harder to stop then before, and they'll begin killing your world as well."

"The lady's right! Might as well help ya get to this Gizamalukie place before we split up, though: we're goin' the same way." Barret said.

"Before you have to leave, though," Cid said, getting everyone's attention. "We need to enjoy the feast that comes at this time, always after the Festival's main end."

"We don't have time for-" Cloud started to say.

"I insist. The gates to the castle will be closed until we attend the feast." Cid said, in an attempt to placate the others.

Cloud sighed irritably, before looking at Cid. "Did you plan this?" he questioned.

"It's tradition: not my idea." Cid explained.

Cloud was tempted to cut his way out of this, but hurting too many people was out of the question. "Fine."

"Thank you for understanding," Cid said, before they headed over to the feasting hall.

After a short walk, they arrived at the hall in question, with a lot of food being served. "No utensils?" Cloud asked skeptically.

"The Festival of the Hunt feast is one of our oldest traditions. It began well over five centuries ago. It is customary to eat everything with your hands, so go on, before it gets cold." Cid explained.

Cloud sighed, before he started grabbing the food. "That explains it," he said.

Dagger nodded in appreciation. "Thank you, Uncle."

Steiner, Cid, and Vivi began digging in. "Mmmm! It's so good!" Vivi exclaimed.

Freya shook her head.

Zidane sighed. "Let's just eat. We can't do anything until the gate opens."

Freya had little choice but to agree. "…You're right."

With that, the Burmecian started eating with her hands.

Zidane looked at Dagger and asked, "Not hungry, Garnet?"

"Sorry…" She began eating, but after a few seconds, all but she and Steiner felt woozy.

"I feel… dizzy." Unconsciousness soon followed.

"What's going on here?" Red XIII asked as he came into the room. "I heard the sound of eating and… why is everyone asleep?"

Dagger looked at the Red Panther and said, "It's a long story…"

"It's poison! I-"

"Steiner, relax. It's just sleeping weed. I didn't put any in yours." Dagger admitted.

The knight looked at his lady in shock. "What?!"

"What if Alexandria is behind this attack on Burmecia? It could lead to war between the three great nations." Dagger said.

Steiner continued, as if an afterthought. "Many innocent people will die if that is so…"

"As the princess of Alexandria, there must be something I can do. I have to help Mother… I don't want to see anything happen to her…" Dagger said.

Red XIII chuckled. "Saving lives. Honorable of you. I will not stop you from leaving if that is your desire, Princess."

Dagger nodded, walking over to Red XIII and giving him a hug. "Thank you," she said.

"...Very well. Princess, I will follow you where you choose." Garnet bowed to Steiner slightly

"Thank you. Let's go before everyone wakes up." the princess said.

Red XIII stood guard over them, although it was unneeded.

She walked over to Zidane's seat, apologies written on her face.

"I'm sorry, Zidane. Come on, Steiner."

As soon as the two of them left, Zidane asked in his sleep, "Dagger… Where are you going…?"

At that point, everyone but Vivi woke up, which meant that he was hit the hardest.

"It must've been some sort of sleeping medicine," Freya said.

"It was sleeping weed," Zidane admitted.

Cid shook his head. "We've been had…"

Zidane sighed. "I gave her some because she said she was having problems sleeping."

Freya nodded, almost approvingly. "I'm impressed. There's more to her than meets the eye."

"The hell is that girl thinkin'?! Her mom's looking for her, and the Shinra's probably working on gettin' here!" Barret yelled.

Cloud nodded at that. "I don't like this any more than you do, Barret," he said. "Any chance of her going to Burmecia ahead of you?"

Zidane nodded. "She could be heading that way. But getting there safely will be Steiner's duty to her, as he's not here. Gizmaluke Groto is the fastest, but more dangerous, route that isn't aerial."

Cloud and the others nodded. "Alright," he said. "We'll be on our way, then."

"This is gonna suck. Mist that makes monsters? We're gonna be fighting for the WHOLE damn time!"

"Don't complain, Barret. It's not like we can get a Chocobo or something: monsters don't go near you with those." Cloud said.

* * *

 **Later, at the Chocobo Forest…**

* * *

"…I stand corrected," Cloud facepalmed.

Zidane was riding a chocobo. A freaking chocobo. And it liked him. And it wanted to go with them. "I saw him from the castle's telescope! Didn't think we'd be paying a visit so soon!"

Cloud shook his head, before asking, "Is there anywhere else we need to visit before we make it to the Grotto?"

"Sort of: there's a marsh nearby. Going around will take days-" Zidane said.

"So the fastest way is to go THROUGH it. Too bad your chocobo friend here can't fly." Cloud lamented.

The chocobo let out an annoyed "Kweh" at that.

"He can fly eventually," a Moogle said. "Choco just needs to level better, first."

Cloud stared at the Moogle, Mene, and asked, "What are you talking about?"

"He can only fly as a Gold Chocobo… the highest level of Chocobos," Mene answered. "Right now he's incapable of doing anything off-land."

"That's what I call a power-up! Let's get this little birdy badassified!" Barret fist pumped.

"Barret, it's not that simple." Tifa shook her head.

"I know Tif, but getting this birdy flyin' would save us a lot of grief!"

Cloud shook his head. Chocobos were incredibly strong for their size and weight, capable of carrying over 5 tons on their backs for weeks at a time, but they couldn't get a harness for the thing so they could use a modified wagon to let it drag them along.

* * *

 **A few hours later, the Qu's Marsh…**

* * *

"Well… glad we can take a Chocobo with us through the marsh," Cloud said. "I don't want to know what'd happen if we had to go around the marsh while on Choco."

A kwee was heard from their new-found companion, earning chuckles from all but the most stoic of the parties. Splashing was heard from a clearing, where they discovered… something… hunting frogs. "What the hell is that thing?" It was dressed like a chef, and when it faced them briefly before marching, Zidane sighed. "A gourmant. They're super-chefs when fully trained, but stupid as hell before that."

Cloud looked at the gourmant for a bit, before asking, "What do you think it's doing?"

"Hunting frogs to cook? I dunno," Zidane shrugged.

Zidane grabbed one, and it approached him. "You got frog! Frogs very good! Mmmm!"

"Who the heck are you?"

The gourmant pointed to itself. "Me? Me Quina!"

"Do you want this frog?" Zidane asked. Upon seeing Quina nod excitedly, he gave it the frog, which it happily… munched on… to everyone else's disgust.

"Yep… stupid as hell," Cloud said, nodding sagely.

Another one, more ornately dressed, entered the clearing. "You pathetic, Quina. Can't even feed yourself."

"Master!"

* * *

A few minutes later, and after keeping the other gourmant from eating Choco, the group was inside a house in the marsh. "So… what's the problem here?" Cloud asked.

"Can't master art of eating just chasing frogs, Quina." "But, Master, frogs very good! Frogs here best! Better than Alexandria's." Quale shook its' head. "Quina, you in darkness. Need some light. World big place. Many many foods. Alexandria just one kingdom. You need go out more, eat other food."

Quina seemed fearful of the idea. "Go out into world…? Sound scary. Are there yummier frogs outside?" Quale nodded, seemingly annoyed with the frog obsession, if understanding.

"Of course! Many good frogs!" The gourmant looked at the strangers, who were… confused. "All Qus love frogs best. Eating frogs is key to growth. Qu marshes exist all over world."

"No shit." Barret said.

Quale looked at Quina. "Go eat frogs in other marshes. I promise, you get much learning."

As if understanding what Quale was going on about, Zidane asked, "You want us to take your student with us?" After receiving a nod, he answered, "Why not?"

"Will I find yummier frogs outside?" Cloud was getting annoyed, but Zidane stopped him from Meteorraining the hell out of the place. "There is plenty of stuff in the world that tastes better than frogs." Quina was amazed by the idea. "Really really!? Okay, I go with you!"

"Your world is strange."

"Don't get started, Cloud."

* * *

 **Later, at the Gizamaluke Grotto…**

* * *

"So… this is the grotto, huh?" Cloud asked.

The place was in chaos. There were bodies throughout the passageway through the mountains, all burned, electrocuted or just plain broken. there were no survivors, bar one or two that died shortly after their arrival. "Yeah, it is. It's usually a lot less… depressing."

Zidane pulled out the portal device, before saying, "Time to send you guys on your way… see ya at a later time."

"Wait," Cloud said. "What day are you thinking of?"

"We'll meet up in Midgar. Couple of days?"

"We are not going back to that place until we're better equipped to handle Shinra's forces. More people, more equipment." Cloud explained.

"I get the idea." Zidane nodded. "Where should we meet up?"

Cloud pulled out the map, finding two locations that matched up. "Here. Junon and...Trino?"

"I've been to Trino. Good luck, guys!"

Cloud nodded, before Zidane and company activated the portal device and sent the Midgar crew to their proper place.

"Come on, guys. Let's kick the shit out of whoever did this."

* * *

There were, indeed, black mages in the grotto. But they were being assisted… by Shinra ground forces.

"You know, Rude, this place is pretty fucking awesome. You could hold a concert in this place with the acoustics."

"Reno, we're on the clock. The boss might like the idea when we're not, though."

There was the sound of rushing footsteps, before Reno and Rude turned to face…

"What the hell are _you_ people doing here?!" Reno exclaimed, pointing at Zidane's group. After taking some time to think it over, however, he realized something. "Wait… where'd the chick and rust covered guy go?"

"You think we're going to answer that? How the hell did YOU get here?!"

"Oh, that's an easy answer." Reno held up a slimmed down version of the prototype 'portal gun'. "The interdimensional tunneling device. Mk IB, since you stole the prototype."

( **BGM: Those Who Fight Harder: Advent Children version** )

Freya looked at Zidane and asked, "Who are these people? How do you know them?"

Zidane shook his head and said, "Not _now_ , Freya! I promise I'll explain it as soon as possible!"

Reno pulled out his shock stick, activating it. "I think we owe you for that shitstorm back at HQ. You're the bastards that brought Sephi boy there. So we Turks are going to kick your asses!"

Vivi, trying to be the voice of reason, exclaimed, "B-B-But we didn't know about Sephiroth until _after_ the-"

"Quit making shit up!" Reno yelled, before he activated his Pyramid ability to trap Vivi in place. "See if you can break out of _that_!"

Freya, who was in between Vivi and Quina, decided to do the smart thing about this… she Jumped a fair distance up into the air.

Zidane thought it over, before he decided to try and see if the Pyramid could be broken from the outside. With a strike of his daggers, he broke Vivi out of his prison.

"Dammit! I should've made the technique stronger!" Reno yelled… just as Quina attempted a weird technique. "What the-"

"I no can eat until its weaker!" Quina exclaimed.

"FIRE!" Vivi yelled, even as a burst of fire hit Reno.

At that moment, Freya landed with her spear going into Reno's side, before she jumped back to her starting spot.

"ACK!" Reno screamed in pain. "Rude! I could use a bit of _help_ now!"

Rude, however, was busy… fighting Zidane. The dagger-wielding thief was actively trying to kill him. And was coming pretty fucking close to doing just that.

Reno, in short order, decided a tactical retreat was in order. "Heh… you guys got lucky this time," he said, before pulling out an extra-large smoke grenade and tossing it down at the ground, activating it.

Rude, grateful for the distraction from Zidane's attempted manslaughter of him, took off with Reno and made their way to a different part of the grotto, where they activated the "interdimensional tunneling device Mk. IB".

All in all, a success for Zidane's party, even if it wasn't complete victory.

"Bastards! Get back here!" A trio of Shinra troops opened fire on them with their SMGs, followed by a large Security Bot. "Alexandria and Shinra! Worst fucking combo I've ever seen!"

Vivi, at that moment, went into Trance mode and started channeling his magic into making Thunder and lightning happen… which short-circuited the Security Bot.

This also, unfortunately, had the negative effect of drawing all the attention onto him. "Mommy…!"

Zidane and Freya began attacking the machine, hacking it apart slowly. "DIE! JUST! FUCKING! DIE!"

The soldiers, aware of what Zidane and Freya were doing, opened fire on them as well… even with normal grenades.

"Who are these people!?"

"Trust me, you'll get everything when we're NOT in mortal danger!"

"Fine! Speaking of mortal danger…" She leaped into the air, throwing her spear at one of the Shinra soldiers, killing him before throwing it into another one.

"Fall back! Fall back!" one of the soldiers called out.

"But, sir, we're stranded here!" a more mook-ish grunt yelled.

"Shut up and fall back!"

They ran deeper into the grotto, locking a door behind them.

"Zidane, explain NOW! What in the name of the Gods is going on?!" Freya demanded.

"Remember Cloud and the others? Those guys are from another world. THOSE guys that were trying to KILL us are from the same place, and they will drain us dry for PROFIT! They care nothing for life!"

"Can I eat them?" Quina asked all of a sudden.

Zidane looked at the gourmant and asked, "You sure you want a stomach ache from eating them?"

"What's a stomach ache?"

"…Never mind. Let's just get mov…ing…" Zidane picked up what appeared to be a long tube with handholds. "Hello, what are you?" He pulled a trigger, firing something at a wall, destroying a door. "HOLY SHIT!"

"Zidane, what did you _do_?" Freya questioned.

"I dunno, honest!" he replied, just as a group of Black Mages and a couple Shinra soldiers came into the room. "Well, other than make them mad, I guess…"

"He's got a bazooka! Take him down!" Another soldier carrying a similar weapon kneeled before taking aim.

Zidane, brash as always, fired first, taking the mages and soldiers down. "You know what, I'm keeping this thing. Might give it to rusty: he could use another weapon."

The dying soldier gurgled before Freya stabbed him in the heart.

"Freya!"

"He was a soldier, doing his duty, dishonorable as that is. I was giving him a mercy." She picked up a set of boxes full of the projectiles, handing them to Zidane. "That thing isn't magic. I think it's just a nastier crossbow."

"Hmm… what'd they call this thing? A bazooka?" Zidane asked, even as he put the projectiles away. "Well… glad we know how it works."

"Zidane, we better hurry," Vivi said, pointing at the doorway that was blasted open. "I have a bad feeling that something nasty will happen if we don't hurry."

"No shit! Shinra's here!"

* * *

 **Kalm**

* * *

Cloud had regaled his story: Nibelheim, Sephiroth, Jenova… everything. "The last thing we need to deal with is whatever is pulling strings in Gaia and Sephiroth. I nearly died the last time I faced that son of a bitch."

"Cloud, we're gonna make the bastard pay. Him, the Shinra, and whoeva's fuckin' things up on the other side. Avalanche for the worlds, man!"

"Thanks, Barret," Cloud said with a nod. "Now… what next?"

"I'ma thinking that Mythril Mine nearby. Stuff's good for weapons and armor. Might find something there. And I need an upgrade to this thing." He held up his gun arm. "This baby's gotten me through some interestin' times. But I need an upgrade."

"You'll have no arguments from me," Cloud said. "I need to upgrade as well, I think."

"Same here," Tifa nodded in assent.

The group got ready to go, hearing a kwee from outside and children exclaiming about a chocobo. "What. The. Hell." There WAS a chocobo outside. Choco, from the other side. "How the hell-"

The bird drew its' beak to the ground, drawing a crude, but recognizable emblem. "Shinra. They developed those devices to their end?"

A kwee was their answer, but they got the idea. Shinra had a foothold on Gaia. And Choco was lucky enough to get dragged through.

"Well… can't look a gift chocobo in its beak," Cloud said. "How about we take him with us? That way-"

At that moment, Choco started digging his beak into the ground, pulling out a few pieces of jewelry that were buried all this time.

"…how the hell did Choco find that much jewelry?" Cloud asked.

The bird just kweed happily. "Ok, let's just get you a harness. You birds might be strong, but you're barely big enough to carry me, let alone all of us." The bird understood somehow, even if it hated the idea of a harness. It wanted to help anyway it could, and Cloud understood the bird's discomfort.

"Well… where'd Choco's Moogle friend go to?" Barret asked out loud.

* * *

Mene, meanwhile, was looking for Choco. "Where'd he go? I thought for sure he'd be with Zidane and his friends…"

* * *

"We'll worry about him later. Let's just get to the Mythril Mines." And thus Cloud and his party set about looking for a harness and a wagon for their chocobo friend.

* * *

 **Gizamaluke Grotto**

* * *

Vivi knew fighting the black mages was necessary, but he hated it all the same. Zidane's apprehension was overruled by his rage, and the brutality of which he tore into the enemy showed that. Even Freya, a combat-hardened soldier, was less brutal.

"Can I eat them?" Quina asked, looking at the Black Mages hungrily.

None were entirely comfortable answering that question. "Uh… up to you."

The Qu began moving toward the bodies, moving to eat them. "We may have made a mistake in taking him with us."

"We might've had to go back there eventually, Freya. Better to just get it over with."

The deeper they went into the grotto, the more Shinra had a presence, although not in troops, but equipment. "Oh, boy. These guys are tryin' to move in."

Quina looked at one of the devices and saw something inside it. "Can I eat what's inside here?" he asked.

Zidane looked at the thing before it exploded open, unleashing a monster that had no right being in this world. And it escaped, diving into the water. "Fuck! Where is it?!"

Screaming was heard, although highly distorted by the water. And out came a winged serpent, the blob-like thing grafting itself into it. "Lord Gizamaluke! We have to get that thing off him!"

"Fuck that, lassy! I think he's screwed!"

Freya looked at Zidane for a brief moment, before slapping him upside the head with a free hand. "How can you _say_ that?!"

The being began to mutate Gizamaluke, growing tentacles and deforming the head to such a degree that describing it would make this chapter pretty much unpublishable.

"…Son of a bitch. What's that phrase?"

"Kill it with fire?" Vivi supplied helpfully.

Zidane nodded. "Yeah. VIVI, KILL IT WITH FIRE!"

Vivi nodded, before channeling fire at the mutated Gizamaluke. "FIRA!" he cried out, causing a more deadly amount of fire magic to hit the monster.

The poor thing roared in pain, but it wasn't that easy to kill.

"I can no eat that!" Quina commented unhelpfully.

"Just stab it to death! Vivi, try lightning attacks! It used to be a water monster; electricity hurts water monsters more!"

Vivi nodded again, this time channeling his best Thunder-based spell at it. "THUNDARA!" he cried out, causing the creature to get startled with electricity of a higher order.

Zidane threw both his daggers at it, then drew the Butterfly Sword, jumping onto and cutting into the creature's flesh, attempting to sever its' spine. A girdled screech of pain signalled the creature's death, and Zidane felt sorry for Gizamaluke. The legendary creature was a guardian, twisted by servants of Brahne and Shinra before… that thing merged with it.

"Can I eat it now?" Quina asked.

"NO!" everyone else yelled.

"You want to end up like that thing?!"

"No. It no cared about yummies."

Zidane reacquired his daggers, sheathing them before he urged them onwards. "How are Cloud and the others doing?" he asked out loud.

* * *

 **Back with Cloud and the others…**

* * *

In any other circumstance, Cloud would be impressed. But the ninja teen that attacked them just tried to steal their bird, and thus they unleashed about a fuckton of asswhooping on her ass. Barrett's words, and they fit. "You spikey-headed jerk! One more time, let's go one more time!"

She attempted to strike, but Cloud just batted her down again, without hurting her. "Oh, scared of a little girl, are we?"

"Petrified. Are you done?"

She pouted. "Fine! I'll just leave! I can take Shinra down on my own!"

Before the kunoichi could leave, however, Cloud placed an iron grip on her shoulder. "What's this about taking Shinra down?" he questioned.

"I'm from Wutai! Shinra conquered my home, and I'm takin' them down!" She smirked as she started nodding to herself. "Oh, you're fightin' them too! And you want my help, is that it?"

"Yes," Cloud answered. "Even though you'll have to talk with Barret here to join us, since he's the leader of our AVALANCHE cell."

"If the lady's fightin' the Shinra, I got no objections! What's your name, little lady?"

She posed a little with her four-sided giant throwing star. "Yuffie Kisaragi, the White Rose of Wutai, at your service! Sorry about the chocobo: thought you guys were with the bastards. I mean, he's wearing a freaking SOLDIER uniform."

Everyone looked at Cloud at that. "It _still_ looks like a SOLDIER uniform?" he asked. Upon seeing the nods, he hung his head in dejection. "Not good…"

Choco kweed, lightly pecking at Yuffie's head. Not enough to hurt, but enough to indicate he liked her.

"So, what're you guys doin' here?" Yuffie asked.

"We're heading for Junon, but we thought we would check out the mythril mines for better equipment. We were lucky enough to run into you first."

Yuffie hummed in thought. "You don't mean to tell me you passed the mines and are going to backtrack to get there, do you?" she asked.

"Wonderful. Well, you might as well come with us, and be prepared for some weird shit."

"Define 'weird'. I'm a freaking shinobi. Weird's what I do!"

Tifa decided to be blunt. "We sometimes cross into another world called Gaia. We've got allies there helping us fight Shinra."

Yuffie was stunned for a bit, in which time Cloud asked, "And are you sure you should call yourself a 'shinobi' when the word for a female ninja is 'kunoichi'?"

Shaking her head, Yuffie answered, "Okay, you got a point… and that's really weird, too."

"Let's go." As they boarded the cart, Yuffie started complaining about their technicalities, mostly saying that shinobi was really just a catch-all term, like an Umbrella. at least it wasn't a corporation or something.

* * *

 **Burmecia**

* * *

The place was in shambles, and that was being kind. Black mages, Alexandrian troops and a LOT of Shinra attack machines were in the city, beating the living hell out of the army.

"Okay, this is just getting out of hand," Zidane said. He prepared his daggers and started to move toward the Shinra attack machines when he noticed something headed his way from his right. "What the-?!"

A mage was charging up a spell; Thunder, if Zidane could guess. The electrical bolt shooting towards his general location confirmed it, but that didn't stop the thief from running toward the mage, throwing his two daggers into its' head. The two weapons had served him well, but they were damaged from Gizamaluke, and from what Zidane heard, that THING was a piece of Jenova. The daggers were blunt by now, so he switched to the Butterfly Sword.

Zidane looked at the Black Mage, which was now dead, before he heard a Shinra attack machine begin firing its gatling gun at him. "Oh, you've gotta-"

Dodging the fire was simple: it wasn't operated by a living being, but he was getting REALLY tired of these things damaging the city. This forced him into a Trance.

With a blast of explosive energy, Zidane destroyed the Shinra attack machine, though his Trance state was far from over. "C'mon, guys, we gotta get going!" he exclaimed.

They began moving towards the castle, as the Shinra machines had ruined the entire city, turning it into less of a maze.

* * *

"Your… company's assistance was not required. The black mages were all we needed." a female General in Alexandria's army said coldly.

Rude adjusted his sunglasses as Reno was tended to by a medic. "Look, when we made contact with your kingdom, General, the Queen asked if we could provide more manpower. You want to bitch, bitch to her. We're just the middle men."

"Why you-!" said General gripped her sword, before an imperious laugh spread throughout the area.

"Beatrix, my dear General, you mustn't let your anger towards men rule you…" Queen Brahne admonished the soldier. "After all… why do you consistently have women in your troops instead of both men _and_ women?"

A thrown dagger between their feet was the answer they received. Beatrix turned her single eye towards the thrower, who entered the main courtyard. "The theater performer. And a kidnapper, no less."

Zidane, who had thrown the dagger to begin with, glared at Beatrix. "I could care less WHAT you think of me, lady! Allying yourself with Shinra? Attacking a kingdom that had no designs on anything but being your peaceful neighbor? YOU'RE the monsters here!"

Beatrix narrowed her single eye at Zidane. "It was not my idea to let the forces of Shinra in on this battlefield," she stated in as calm a manner as her anger would allow. "However, I was forced into the position of accepting their help… though I have no idea why you hate Shinra or even know of them."

"He knows of us through a group of terrorists that want to stop us from providing energy to the population of our world, as well as this one," Reno said from his place in the courtyard, before he was forced to shut up.

"At what cost, though?!" Zidane questioned. "You'd do nothing short of killing the planet if you had your way!"

"There's no proof of that. But I guess I'm wasting my time trying to convince you."

Zidane pulled out the Butterfly Sword. "That you are."

He lept into the air, but his strike was intercepted by Beatrix. "Unnecessary to this battle as they were, these Shinra people are our allies. To get to them, you must first get through me."

Before Zidane could strike Beatrix, however…

"My, my, what's the commotion out here for?" a male voice asked.

Zidane and the others all looked at him. Long silver hair, and a VERY revealing outfit were the man's trademark look. "Kuja, this isn't your concern."

"But it IS! The rats have fled to Cleyra. I fear the black mages won't be enough to get to the rest."

"Your creations seem to be falling behind, then," Rude commented. "It should be easy enough for us to destroy this Cleyra place… assuming you can tell us where it is."

"I'm afraid that you'd have to get past a desert in the immediate area," Kuja replied, before turning to face Zidane. "I wonder… did you bring any allies with you?"

Zidane said nothing.

"Oh, well. I already know of your alliance with that little group Avalanche. And that you can get to the other Gaia and back."

"Enough! Beatrix, rid us of them and be done with-"

Before the Queen could finish, the knight twisted and jumped to deflect a blow from a long sword, based on the katana.

( **BGM: One Winged Angel - Crisis Core version** )

"Who the hell are _you_?!" Zidane yelled at the newcomer.

Reno and Rude, however, rushed over to Zidane and Kuja and dragged them away from the new guy. "You don't stand a _chance_ against Sephiroth!" Rude exclaimed, making sure that they knew who the guy was.

Zidane's eyes widened as the man entered the light. A black bodysuit, silver shoulder guards, long silver hair and the eyes... green and cat-like.

Kuja attempted to get Reno's hands off of him, but the Turk's grip was too strong, in spite of being injured earlier.

"I came here looking for mother. Where is she?"

Zidane, getting free from Rude's grip, spun the sword before attacking the super SOLDIER, who parried the strikes away as if they were nothing.

"You are strong, boy, but you will not impede me." He swatted Zidane back, who landed on his knees. "Where is she?"

Rude, in an attempt to get Sephiroth out of the area, answered, "She's in a grotto to the south… she should still be there."

Zidane looked at Rude, before asking, "What's the name of his mother?"

"Jenova," Rude answered. "Looks like a tentacle-type monster that has a really nasty looking head, and-"

"You mean that thing that mutated Gizamaluke was his _mother_?!" Zidane questioned. "They looked nothing alike!"

"You mean you destroyed the ONLY sample we had left?!"

Sephiroth was seemingly pissed at that. "So, you destroyed part of mother. You will pay for that." Masamune flashed as it approached Zidane's head, but the thief parried the strike while ducking under the blade. His blade was intercepted by Beatrix's Save the Queen, and the man actually had a hard time against her.

"Go. Get out of here. You seem to be the honorable types, in spite of your actions. I will keep him from you."

"What about you, though?!" Zidane questioned. "He's not to be taken lightly, that's for sure!"

Rude ran up to Zidane and clocked him with a rock, knocking the thief out of it for a while, thus ending his Trance state. "I'll make sure he gets out of here, along with whoever came with him," Rude told Beatrix.

Sephiroth struck five more times, but Beatrix did not budge. "Hmm. You may provide some entertainment after all." The son of Jenova continued his attacks as the others retreated.

* * *

 **Xamusel: Well… guess what spanner we threw into the works that were Shinra's plans, as well as Brahne's plans, too. I'll give you a hint… Masamune.**

 **Yep, you guessed it, it's Sephiroth! Hopefully this will keep things exciting enough for everyone.**

 **Ron: Start blaring One Winged Angel as high as you can. You know you want to.**

 **Xamusel: Good idea… *blares One Winged Angel at 200% volume* That work?**

 **Ron: NOT LOUD ENOUGH! (Evil laughter as ears start bleeding)**

 **Xamusel: I'd make it louder if I could with VLC Media Player… too bad I can't. Anyway… hopefully we can keep our heads about us for the rest of the story. Still, here's the pecking order for the bad guys:**

 **Alexandria soldier at the bottom, following the Black Mages, following the Shinra soldiers, following the average SOLDIER Third Class, following the average SOLDIER Second Class, following the average SOLDIER First Class, following Garland, following Kuja, and Sephiroth at the top of the pecking order.**

 **Abridged Mr. Popo: I think you're forgetting someone.**

 **Ron: FUCK! (Black mist comes out of nowhere as laughs)**


End file.
